floraandjem:

someone come pick me up and we can go for a late night drive and go get something to eat and have a blissful Saturday night

thernardier:

“you wanna see my breasts” i say seductively to my boyfriend. i unbutton my shirt to reveal two large, succulent cuts of meat. i am a chicken. why do i have a boyfriend. why am i wearing clothes

how do you expect me to do a homework assignment that requires a computer

do you know what happens when i get near a computer

this happens.

nevvzealand:

i broke my finger today but on the other hand i am completely fine

knightscrest:

my greatest dream is to swim in an ocean of orange soda. it is a fanta sea.